


Hello Officer

by MightyMidget



Series: I'll Be There For You [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Flirts, Castiel Learning To Drive, Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel is Not Innocent, Castiel is a Little Shit, Castiel is a Tease, Caught, Crack, Dean Teaches Castiel To Drive, Dean is Not Amused, Dean is So Done, Driving, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Police, Sam Is So Done, Speeding, Teasing, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5211071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MightyMidget/pseuds/MightyMidget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean decides to teach Castiel to drive and the speed happy Angel gets them pulled over by Officer Hottie...Castiel can be very persuasive when he wants to be, and Dean is so not amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello Officer

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! A little more for my F*R*I*E*N*D*S verse here. This fic was ripped off I MEAN INSPIRED by the episode of Friends where Rachael and Ross get pulled over and Rachel flirts her way out of the ticket. Plot bunnies were flying all over the place on this one! Let me know how you like it?

Dean had made it his personal mission in life to teach Castiel how to drive and it was one which he was finding himself regretting more and more as the night went on. Don't get him wrong, Castiel wasn't a bad driver - he learned extraordinarily quickly where all the gears and things where situated, and how to correctly use them but...he was a speeder. Everything they did he insisted upon doing at just over the speed limit, and is things progressed and his confidence grew he only got faster and faster. Dean had no problem with a little speed and he himself was known to take risks but he just wasn't used to being the one in the passenger seat. Dad had always been a normal driver, painfully normal, and Sammy would never be caught anywhere near the speed limit if he could help it so Dean had never found himself in this position before - that position being clinging to the seat with white knuckles and staring at Castiel in horror!  
  
"Cas, big guy, you think you could slow it down a bit buddy?" Dean chuckled nervously. "This ain't a race you know..." Castiel looked over at him with a wide grin, something which gave Dean chills all up and down his spine.  
  
"Oh come now, Dean, you're perfectly safe...you know I would never allow you to come to harm. Besides..." Castiel said, face turning back to the road with an almost feral pleasure. "I do enjoy driving at this speed...it is similar to flying." The Angel mused and Dean closed his eyes against that image.  
  
"I really don't need to think about that right now..." Dean muttered, his breathing quickening as the car jolted over something in the road. Deans eyes flew open and he would deny forever the inhuman and very unmanly yelp that forced its way from his lips. "What the Hell was that?!" Dean said, glaring at the now sniggering Angel.  
  
"Nothing Dean, merely a small bump in the road...would you relax!" Castiel said and Dean was too preoccupied with the rapid movement of the road in front of them to notice that Castiel had taken both of his hands from the wheel and placed one on Deans knee. "You just have to relax Dean." Cas soothed and Dean began to feel a little better...until he looked around and found Cas' hands free approach to driving.  
  
"CAS BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL!!!" Dean screamed at the smiling Angel, and Castiel just laughed as he turned back to the road and took the wheel in his hands again. "You're enjoying this aren't you?" The Hunter snapped and Castiel flicked his eyes to him briefly before bringing them back to the road ahead.  
  
"I don't know what you mean, Dean..." The smug little bastard said with a fake kind of shock that dripped with sarcasm.  
  
"Bullshit! You're doing this on purpose, deliberately trying to fuck with me!" Dean growled lowly, and Castiel turned mischievous eyes to him once again without answering. "Great! We finally discover your sense of humour and its set to 'Gabriel'...more of the Winchester brand luck!" Dean huffed but before Cas could answer the car was suddenly lit up in flashing blue and red lights. "Oh and just when it couldn't get any worse!" Dean yelled, throwing his hands in the air with a glare at the very sheepish looking Angel.  
  
"What should I do? Should I attempt to 'lose him'..." Castiel asked, air quotes perfectly in place and Dean stared at him in disbelief.  
  
"What are you a Blues Brother, no!" Dean snapped at him. "Just pull over to the side of the road...he just wants to check your drivers license." He explained as Castiel safely pulled the car over and parked it. Suddenly a horrible thought occurred to Dean. "Cas please tell me you have a drivers license, or Jimmy did?!" Dean squeaked, looking over his shoulder and out the back window, grateful to find the Officer still in the car.  
  
"Of course he does, Dean!" Castiel said, rolling his eyes as he pulled out his wallet and retrieved his vessels license for Dean to inspect. Dean took the small card from Castiel with a grateful smile, only to drop his face into his hands when he saw the date printed on it.  
  
"Cas, this expired three years ago..." Dean groaned, tossing the completely useless card back into Cas' lap. "Argh what are we gonna do, he's so gonna arrest us we are going to jail..." Dean moaned dramatically and Castiel whimpered fearfully.  
  
"Jail?! I don't wanna go to jail! I'm too pretty for jail, I'll end up someone's bitch!" Cas whined, turning to watch in horror as the Officer exited the car, taking his time to straighten his tie and let the occupants of the car sweat a little longer. Dean was staring in shock at his friend, unable to believe the words that had just come out of his mouth.  
  
"Cas...you are one of the most powerful creatures in all of existence you are not going to be someone's bitch!" Dean yelled and Castiel took a moment to think about it as a slow relaxed smile crept onto his face.  
  
"You're right Dean, I could easily fend off any attackers. You on the other hand would need to become my bitch if you wished to survive" Castiel said smiling at Dean who glared back at him.  
  
"Hey! I am no one's Bitch!"  
  
"Its a compliment Dean!"  
  
"How is that a compliment?!"  
  
"Well you are very pretty..."  
  
The silence in the car following that statement was thick and heavy, and Dean tried to force down the happiness that threatened to bubble up in his chest. "Cas thought he was pretty!" The pair stared at each other for a moment, hesitant smiles on their faces, before Dean suddenly remembered where they were and what was happening. The pair jolted around in time to see the Officer walking slowly towards them and Dean levelled Castiel with a glare.  
  
"Okay one...No more Netflix for you, you are cut off!" Dean snapped and Castiel put a hand over his mouth with a horrified gasp.  
  
"But Dean!" Cas whined, silencing himself when the Hunter raised a finger and pointed it at his chest.  
  
"Ah! Cut off! And two, just act natural!" Dean said, knowing now that there was little they could do to avoid a ticket and hoping that the guy would be nice enough not to slap them in handcuffs.  
  
"I can't even begin to explain to you just how unnatural all this is to me, Dean!"  
  
"Look just shut up and let me do the talking, now roll your damn window down!" Castiel pouted at him but did as he was told, rolling down the window as the Officer stepped up to the side of the car. A flashlight shown into the car and Castiel fixed the man with the most innocent smile he could muster when he suddenly remembered he had seen a similar situation to this on TV, and he wondered if he could apply the same technique he had seen there to avoiding punishment.  
  
"Hey there, Officer, what seems to be the problem?" Dean asked from across Castiel but the man ignored him and looked straight at Castiel instead.  
  
"Hello, Officer. Was I going a little fast?" Castiel asked, pulling his lip inbetween his teeth and tilting his head to the side.  
  
"I would say more than a little...Let me see your licence..." The man asked and Castiel took it out of his lap, handing it to the man through the window and allowing his fingers to linger just a moment, brushing them against the mans hand. Dean watched his friend work with a look of pure horror as Castiel leaned over to watch the man checking over his details.  
  
"I guess you are right, I am such an idiot sometimes, but then again I should have seen this coming...I had the weirdest dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman." Castiel said, eyes trailing up and down the mans uniform clad body.  
  
"Is that right?" The Officer asked, not quite catching Castiel's tone the way Dean had done.  
  
"Uh-huh, just like this...he pulled me over to the side of the road and we...well I don't think I should be telling you the rest." Castiel giggled quietly, ducking his head away to hide his blush. The man outside the car looked down at him for a moment and Dean was sure they were done for - he was pretty certain that flirting with a cop was against the rules, or something - but the Officer allowed the flashlight in his hand to dip slightly, and it was obvious from the smirk playing on his lips that he was checking Cas out. Dean felt a surge of jealousy flare through him and he had to keep reminding himself that he wouldn't look good in an orange jumpsuit to stop from leaping out of the car and confronting this guy. Castiel played it off well though, leaning back in his seat and sliding one hand slowly down his thigh. The Officer took a moment to admire him before turning back to the card in his hand.  
  
"Wow..." The man said and Castiel leaned over to the window again, elbow on the edge so he could play with his hair.  
  
"Something wrong, Officer..." Cas' eyes trailed down to the mans tag. "Hottie..."  
  
"Its Howtie." The man grinned at Cas who put a hand over his mouth and gasped a little.  
  
"Opps sorry, my mistake." Cas said, playing the innocent but from the smouldering look in Officer Howtie's eyes he could tell his charm was working its magic. Another look at Castiel's useless licence had the Officer looking curious. "You are probably wondering all about that date, huh?" Castiel asked and the Officer nodded.  
  
"Yeah...there is no way thats your real age!" Officer Howtie asked, smiling at Castiel who shrugged and batted the air with his hand when the man continued. "Let me guess, you work out a lot..."  
  
"Oh you!" Cas giggled, batting the air with his hand to swipe the playful Officers comment away like he had saw the girl do in the television programme. "I try to keep in shape."  
  
"I can tell..." The Officer said, light trailing up and down Cas' body again and making Dean feel like his whole mind was full of angry wasps.  
  
"You flatterer...I am gonna go ahead and guess that you are a Taurus."  
  
"I am, yes."  
  
"I knew it! The bull, huh?" Cas said with a sly look. "I like that, thats hot..." The pair shared another look and the Officer pulled out his ticket book. He took one more look at Castiel and huffed, looking up and down the empty road quickly before jotting something down on the piece of paper.  
  
"Okay, I am gonna go ahead and write something on this paper for you, but I think under the circumstances I can let you off this one time...so long as you promise me you are gonna behave from now on, okay? No more speeding." The Officer said, leaning in close to Cas to hand him the paper. Castiel gasped happily and took the paper from the mans hand, allowing him to stroke his fingers along the skin for a moment before pulling away.  
  
"I swear I wont get into any more trouble, Officer, you have my word." Castiel promised and finally the Officer flicked his light to Dean in the passanger seat.  
  
"You let him drive the rest of the way. Do you have a liscence, Sir?" Officer Howtie asked and Dean grumbled lowly that he did. With one last sweep of Castiel the Officer winked and turned his back, walking back to his car and leaving both men sitting stunned. Castiel had a large grin on his face as he looked over at Dean.  
  
"I can't believe that actually worked..."  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
When they finally made it back to the Bunker later on that night, Dean shocked Sam by storming in and tossing his bag down onto the nearest chair before throwing a small rolled up piece of paper at the larger mans head.  
  
"Look at that! Just would you look at that!" Dean yelled and Sam decided not to say anything, unrolling the manged sheet which turned out to be an unwritten speeding ticket. Instead of the usual statements and time stamps there was a name and a number scribbled on it.  
  
_"Andy - 202-555-0110 call me x"_ Sam read, mouthing the words with a scowl before throwing the paper down onto the table.  
  
"So what, you got some random guys phone number this is hardly new to you..." Sam said with a confused frown, unsure why his brother was so upset over a phone number. Dean was shaking his head and looked for once like he was lost for words, but the arrival of a very smug looking Castiel had everything falling into place for Sam.  
  
"Oh here he is now! Mr- _Sorry-Officer-Was-I-Going-To-Fast!_ " Dean said in a simpering voice, mocking Castiel's flirting style. Sam stared at the pair in disbelief before turning to Castiel who didn't look in the least bit sorry for himself.  
  
"Hold on, are you telling me that he...that you actually..." Sam said, stuttering his words as he started to laugh. "You didn't...He didn't..."  
  
"He did! Full on flirted his way out of a ticket with Officer Hottie!" Dean yelled and Castiel sighed dramatically at the Hunters antics.  
  
"Officer _Howtie_ , Dean!" The Angel corrected and Dean growled lowly, throwing himself into one of the seats and crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"Oh I am so sorry, Cas! I didn't mean to wrong name your boyfriend! What is so funny Sam?!" Dean glared at his younger Brother who was hunched over the table and clutching at his sides as he watched the pair bickering like an old married couple.  
  
"Castiel...Oh my God! I can't breathe! I gotta go call Gabe this shit is like...Oh man!" Sam laughed as he got up and ran out of the room, dogding the pen that Dean had snatched from the table and tossed at his retreating back.  
  
"Bitch!"  
  
"Jerk!"  
  
Castiel took his seat across from the seething Hunter and watched him pout for several minutes before broaching the subject once more.  
  
"I fail to see why this has upset you so much, Dean, you said yourself you did not wish for us to be put in jail and it seemed to work perfectly well for the woman in that TV sitcome that I enjoy so much." Castiel explained rationally, but all that did was remind Dean about what had kicked this all off in the first place.  
  
"SAM! CHANGE THE NETFLIX PASSWORD CAS IS CUT OFF!" Dean yelled at the open doorway, but Castiel got up and moved around to where Dean was sitting, lowering himself down till he was crouched beside him.  
  
"Dean please be serious, whatever I did I only did because I did not wish for either of us to get into trouble...please tell me what it was that upset you so much, I do not wish to do it again but I can't promise that if I don't know exactly what I did wrong." Castiel asked, his voice soft and pleading and finally Dean looked at him before his eyes wandered off to the scrap of paper sitting on the table. Castiel followed his gaze and for a moment he was confused, and he sifted through the vast knowledge of human interactions he had learned from his TV binges until he found a similar fit. It was starting to make sense...  
  
"Dean...are you concerned that I may want to call up the Officer and arrange a date with him?" Castiel asked and Dean got up suddenly, storming over to the drinks cabinate and pulling out a bottle of whiskey. "Ah...I believe I have 'touched a nerve' as they say..." Dean didn't answer as he poured himself a large dose of hunter's helper and sipped at it, keeping his eyes trained on the glass and not on Castiel who had gotten up again and was walking towards him with the note in his hand. When he reached Dean he took a moment before placing one finger under the mans chin and tilting his head up so he could meet his eyes. With a smile he raised the note up in front of Dean's face and used his other hand to grip the edge of it before pulling it apart with a resounding rip. Once he was done ripping the note up he dropped it casually into the waste paper bin beside them and smiled at his friend. "I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in Officer Howtie...I believe my interests may lie elsewhere." Cas explained, a warm feeling taking over him as he watched Dean's lips twitch into a smile. The Angel turned and started to walk away towards the doorway, obviously heading for his bedroom again and leaving Dean feeling a little out of sorts - for a moment the Hunter had been convinced Castiel was going to kiss him. When he looked up he found Cas leaning against the doorframe, and his breath caught in his chest as he watched Cas' eyes roam up and down his body, similar but different to the way he looked at the Officer earlier...this time the heat in his eyes was real.  
  
"I have no interest in a man of the law Dean...my personal tastes have always been for the bad boy..." Cas said and with that he turned and walked out of the door, eyes flashing in Dean's direction before disappearing around the door and down the hallway. Dean remained frozen in place, staring at the spot where Castiel had been only a minute ago and he wasn't sure what he was meant to do...all the Winchester charm was gone. Finally Cas poked his head back around the doorway and stared at Dean with confusion.  
  
"In case I was not making myself clear, Dean, I will be blunt. I wish to have sex with you now..." Cas said and Dean couldn't help but laugh as he put his glass down and charged towards the Angel, knocking him off balance as he pushed him out the doorway.  
  
Who knew Angel's had such dirty mouths? 


End file.
